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Saturday, August 21, 2004

Mood: Lonely, and Enslaveed
Today’s Quote: "I love my job, too bad it is here" -Robert Luther (the coolest packer ever)
"6 months Pickin, and your be ready to walk out on the street with a 44 mag and blow your fucking brains out" -Sherm the picker gone janitor.
Today’s Song: "Escape" -Metallica

First off, notice that little comment thingy. Maybe if I got some repsonses, I might post more. ha ha. I figured out too (on my own), to get a comment for every post. I also have one on the side just for general suggestions about the blogg (I put there by accident figuring out where I wanted the comments). It isn't like Live journal coolness (the only good thing bout that damn fucking thing), but hey, I have comments now!

Wow, I'm posting. I figured it out. I mellowed out. I don't feel the old wide spectrum of feelings I used to. I miss my bouts of depression for a little bit of joy. Now all I feel is a constant state of lonelyness and enprisionment. I dont' post because I don't feel enought to put here. Someone, fall in love with me, or ateast let me fall in love with you, so I feel again. I miss love. I miss feeling romanic and mushy. I just miss life. I work fucking 60 hours this week. I bought a gutiar in 2 weeks worth of pay, and no time to play it. Warnaco has bought my soul. My mind only has enougth time to think about work, and how awesome it would be if I could be spending my time with someone special in my life. I would love to hear "Adam, I have been waiting to tell you this for a long time, but I love you." I feel 100x more manly too. I hide what little emotions I have, I won't ask for help from anyone, and I have the largest desire to fish. Just the word Fish reminds me of Dad too. I need to spend some time with him at the lake. There was only one thing Dad like to do more then fish, and that was fish with his kids. Dad, what should I do.

Two things are happening though In my life that are looking up. I got a car, a pos dodge aclaim left to me by Dad, and I am moving up the moutin with mom in my own little pad down stairs. Yes, I am getting my own apartment in the same building as mom. She doesn't care who spends the night, or what they smoke, just so they blow out the window, and I dont' make any babies. She plans on giving me a hand out with the bills too. I may just end up finding another job. One I can be Adam Feathers again, or atleast what is left of this shell of him. I haven't written a poem in like 2 and a half months, yet I had so much to write about. I haven't written in my private journal for about the same time, and boy could I fill her up now. Graduation, dad dying, new jobs, lack of love (how it is filled with all my feelings of those I love, or once loved). I am sure given the chance, a flare could strike up again though. I can fall in love easily if feelings were once there, or so I have found out.

The band Poverty Stricken has been built. The line is up is: Dave Mollica (bass, and to no surprise), John Finamore (drums), Johnathon Mcneilis (keyboard), Adam {me} (guitar), and Justin Feathers (Guitar and Vocals). We plan on rockin blair county for some time, well, what time I have to spend.

Someone, anyone, rescue me.

I need to escape:
" Fell no pain, but my life ain't easy
I know I'm my best friend
No one cares, but I'm so much stronger
I'll fight until the end
To escape from the true false world
Undamaged destiny
Can't get caught in the endless circle
Ring of stupidity

Out of my own, out to be free
One with my mind, they just can't see
No need to hear things that they say
Life is for my own to live my own way

Rape my mind and destroy my feelings
Don't tell my what to do
I don't care now, 'cause I'm on my side
And I can see through you
Feed my brain with your so called standards
Who says that I ain't right
Break away from your common fashion
See through your blurry sight

Out of my own, out to be free
One with my mind, they just can't see
No need to hear things that they say
Life is for my own to live my own way

See they try to bring the hammer down
No damn chains can hold me to the ground
Life is for my own to live my own way"

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