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Monday, May 24, 2004

Mood: Incomplete
Today's Quote: "Hate is so much easier to feel than love"
Today’s Song: "A New Level" - Pantera

I am glad for once I made someone happy with this things. I was in a very sentimental, crazy, and just not in a right state of mind, but I mean every word of it.

It is a very well knwon clice "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger", and my spirit is once such things that is growing stronger. I am surprised how... I dont know the word... Just not upset I am with everything right now. There just seems to be something more important in my life... I just can't figure out what. I am working on it. My mind has been thinknig 1,000x then I am used to, trying to figure it out. I just hope I can find it.

Its a great song off "Valgure Display of Power". Simply amazing album. I love it to death. I need to check out some DamagePlanas Pantera's Guitar and drum players are in it (Darrel and Vinny Abbot).

"Now a new look in my eyes my spirit rise
Forget the past
Present tense works and lasts
Got shit on
Pissed on
Spit on
Stepped on
Fucked with
Pointed at by lesser men


New life in place of old life
Unscarred by trials


A new level of confidence and power

Demanding plea for unity between us all --
United stand
Death before divided fall
In mock military order
Because time is shorter



No fucking surrender
Can't lose
Life kills"

Saturday, May 22, 2004

Mood: Touched, but not like Michael Jackson touched.
Today’s Quote: "I found my compass, it just so happens its a small, pasty white girl, who has blonde hair"
Today’s Song: All The Love in the Universe -Santana

You all know I went to an ACLU conferencece today, and it was pretty freaking awesomeme, but that wasn't the highlight of my day. It was a 5 minute walk from Sam Saylards to my house, and part of the way with a little girl. Knowing she is there just makes my soul sing with so much happiness. I am GLAD things worked out the way they did. She would have pushed me away, or I would have fucked things up, or something, and well..we have so much more. I wouldn't have that amazing person. No matter what happens, I will have her. Every person in the world, no I take it back; only deserving kind, generous people deserve a girl like that. She has been promoted to the most important girl in my life besides my mom, and she is a very close second. I am a very selfish, ungrateful human being. I always want more, when I have so much right in front of me. Life can move on just the way it is, and I will forever be happy.

I feel loved. A feeling I haven't felt in a long time. I feel needed, wanted, and cared for all rolled up in one warm taco shell. Its not even like the love a friend gives a friend. That kind of love isn't even a drop in the bucket. I never felt any other love besides the love given to a family member, and or a friend, but I know this idifferentnt. I know its noromanticic in nature either. ThGreeksks had 3 words for love. One meaning madly in love in romanticic sense, onmeaningng like a brother, and one meaning a deep feeling of friendship. They had nothing on this one. I found that helping hand Santana was talking about.

"Oo, oo, do...
New thoughts
Will purify my mind
and clean my body
New lives
will fall together like an endless story

All the love of the universe
will be shared by all that's living

And I don't really care
about tomorrow
is all I really need to find the answers

I'll find the constant flow
of all the harmony

Everybody needs a helpin' hand
Everybody needs a helpin' hand"

Thursday, May 20, 2004

Mood: Alone, Cold, and I feel the pressure of the universe collapsing in on me, as the binding that holds it together, my friends, are slowly, one by one, back stabbing the fuck out of me.
Today'’s Quote: (No words of wisdom today)
Today'’s Song: "Birds of Fire" John McLaughlin

I hate you all. One by one, backstabbing me, when I need you most. You guys are cowards, and are forcing my soul to slowly be severed. My spirit is dying, and you are feeding it morpoisonin. And you guys call yourself friends. When you need help, I am always there. But, when I need help, you throw me in a pit of burning coals, allowing me to slowly roast. You will be sorry, all of you, when you lose me. I need you as much as you need me, but... I will grow stronger, and my need for you will diminish.

All of those worthy of hearing good music, check the tune out. It is so amazing. I love it to death. John McLaughlin is my new musical hero.

Saturday, May 15, 2004

Mood: Will no one wake me up from my recurring nightmare?
Today’s Quote: Woods of Sorrow(See Below)
Today’s Song: MF FROM HELL - The Datsuns

Cut my wrists
And let the pain bleed out
This void is never going to be filled
Just a shadow of my thoughts
What should I do
My compass is broken
And I have no place to run
If only you would have taken my hand
And guided me out
Everything would have been ok
But now that I am lost
I can't ever get back
Forever lost in the woods of sorrow

Why Did you cut my rope
I would've rather hung
Swinging beneath the branches
Because when I fell
No one caught me
And I lay here bleeding
Screaming your name
And no one comes to help
All alone with only the trees
With my broken Legs
And no where to run
Its slowly getting dark
Forever lost in the woods of sorrow

No no, I am not suicidal, but it is metaphorical for my spirit. I feel this void inside of me is eating me up. Give me some time, I won't be Adam anymore, I promise you. Turning into a real dick like theveryonene else on the face of the earth is soundinbeautifulul. I haven'benefiteded one lick for doing the right thing. I know, you don't do the right thing for sake obenefitingng oneself, but its hard when not being a dick, dicks you in the ass.

The Datsuns capture smany thingsgperfectlyly:

"There's a girl running around my head
I know she makes me frown
She may be crazy, she maybe not be right
She makes me feel like
Like a motherfucker from hell

Around her finger
She makes me sigh
With a look
The girl
She made me cry
She may be crazy, may treat me bad
She makes me feel like
Like a motherfucker from hell

Like the man said its just a shot away
It happens Lord everyday
And she says it feels good
Damn I make her feel alright
And it's a damn sight better than I got from you
Damn woman she makes me oh so blue
Like a motherfucker from hell

She got me down spinning out of control
That woman
The devils own
She maybe be crazy, she may not be right
She makes me feel like
like a motherfucker from hel

Like the man said its just a shot away
It happens Lodrd everyday
And she says it feeels good
Damn I make her feel alright
And it's a damn sight better than I got from you
Damn woman she makes me oh so blue
Like a motherfucker from hell"

Monday, May 10, 2004

Mood: I could be worse
Today’s Quote: It is better to love and lost than never to love at all
Today’s Song: What is and Should Never Be Led Zepplin

Besides me being grounded, Life is pretty awsome. Not much of everything,... but damn it! I am starting to make the best of things. And I am going to promise myself not to fubar things up this time. I think I am going to get what I always wanted. I have smiles eat to ear.

One of my favorite Led Zep Songs. I felt like posting the lyrics today because I am in a very "What is and Never Should Be" lyrics

"And if I say to you tomorrow. Take my hand, child, come with me.
It's to a castle I will take you, where what's to be, they say will be.

*Catch the wind, see us spin, sail away, leave today, way up high in the sky.
But the wind won't blow, you really shouldn't go, it only goes to show
That you will be mine, by takin' our time.

And if you say to me tomorrow, oh what fun it all would be.
Then what's to stop us, pretty baby. But What Is And What Should Never Be.

* Chorus

So if you wake up with the sunrise, and all your dreams are still as new,
And happiness is what you need so bad, girl, the answer lies with you.

* Chorus

Oh the wind wont blow and we really shouldn't go and it only goes to show.
Catch the wind, we're gonna see it spin, we're gonna...sail, little girl
do do do, bop bop a do-oh, my my my my my my yeah.
Everybody I know seems to know me well
but they're never gonna know that I move like hell. "

Monday, May 03, 2004

Mood: Experienced

Today’s Quote:
"Flyin' too much today
It's so groovy to float around sometimes
Even a jelly fish will tell you that
I said floataion is groovy
And he said
And a jelly fish will agree to that"

Today’s Song: Machine Gun ~Jimi Hendrix

I haven't posted in a while. Hell, it is over 15 days since then. A Lot happened since then, but I won't say much.

I went up to Gary's Steals and Deals today.... Oh man.... Freaking awsome. I picked up Dark Side of the Moon and a Jimi Hendrix Cd called Band of Gypsies. ahh! JIMI ROCKS!.

I am tired of copying pasting lyrics here,if you want to check them out go to http://www.lyricsdepot.com/jimi-hendrix/machine-gun.html
To check it out. it rocks.

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