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Friday, March 05, 2004

Mood: Words can not even begin to explain this fucking hell
Today’s Quote: ...
Today’s Song: "Suicide Solutions" Ozzy Osbourne

My father is in the Intensive care unit at Altoona. He is in critical condition. I never EVER saw the man so ill in my life. His skin is a brownish yellow, as are his eyes. His urine is a reddish color. The toxins running through his veins cause him to speak really wired, and he tried to use the phone to change the channel. 3 of his organs are failing, one which is his liver. 2 Doctors told him he might not make it. Everyone do me a huge favor and pray for him. Pray for me too, and the rest of his family. I've seen him in really really bad conditions, but never EVER like this. He has no hope to live either. He was issued 2 arrest warnents, and technically he should be in jail right now. My dad got one thing from his mother, and that is he is really really tough. He is more of a man then ANY of us could be. If only he had hope and the will.......

"Wine is fine
But whiskey's quicker
Suicide is slow with liquor
Take a bottle drown your sorrows
Then it floods away tomorrow
Away tomorrow

Evil thoughts and evil doings
Cold, alone you hang in ruins
Thought that you'd escape the reaper
You can't escape the master keeper

'Cause you feel life's unreal
And you're living a lie
Such a shame who's to blame
And you're wondering why
Then you ask from your cask
"Is there life after birth"?
What you sow can mean hell on this earth
Hell on this earth

Now you live inside a bottle
The reaper's traveling at full throttle
It's catching you but you don't see
The reaper is you and the reaper is me

Breaking laws,
Knocking doors
But there's no one at home
Make your bed,
Rest your head
But you lie there and moan
Where to hide,
Suicide is the only way out
Don't you know what it's really about

Wine is fine
But whiskey's quicker
Suicide is slow with liquor
Take a bottle drown your sorrows
Then it floods away tomorrow."

Tuesday, March 02, 2004

Mood: Tired and Burned out on life
Today’s Quote: Is there anybody out there?
Today’s Song: "Hey You" Pink Floyd

It seems as though life has been dragging many people down. I pretty damn content, but I still don't like seeing the ones I care about down arond me. If you guys need the same hand you handed me, Feel free to ask for it. I am here for you guys.

Today I dont know, I just felt worn out. I have been having wierd dreams lately. Last night I drempt of a good friend and I were walking in the woods, and I built a camp fire, and we sat on a log. Next thing I knew she was crying on my shoulder and telling me things like "I am sorry, I just thought I didn't deserve you." And then I woke up. It was very wierd. I know she never thought that way which makes it more wierd. It was the first time in a while she was the main person in my dreams, and It kinda wierded me out. I don't know what to make of it. I think I am lacking something in my life, I just dont know what

I am going to go do some exercises listening to some Pink Floyd. Thanks Lyn-z for the floyd.



"(Hey you, out there in the cold
Getting lonely, getting old
Can you feel me?
Hey you, standing in the aisles
With itchy feet and fading smiles
Can you feel me?
Hey you, don’t help them to bury the light
Don’t give in without a fight.

Hey you, out there on your own
Sitting naked by the phone
Would you touch me?
Hey you, with you ear against the wall
Waiting for someone to call out
Would you touch me?
Hey you, would you help me to carry the stone?
Open your heart, I’m coming home.

But it was only fantasy.
The wall was too high,
As you can see.
No matter how he tried,
He could not break free.
And the worms ate into his brain.

Hey you, standing in the road
Always doing what you’re told,
Can you help me?
Hey you, out there beyond the wall,
Breaking bottles in the hall,
Can you help me?
Hey you, don’t tell me there’s no hope at all
Together we stand, divided we fall.

[click of tv being turned on]
"well, only got an hour of daylight left. better get started"
"isnt it unsafe to travel at night? "
"it’ll be a lot less safe to stay here. you’re father’s gunna pick up our trail before long"
"can loca ride? "
"yeah, I can ride... magaret, time to go! maigret, thank you for everything"
"goodbye chenga"
"goodbye miss ..."
"i’ll be back")"

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